Let's help girls be brave

Let’s help girls be brave!

It sounds wonderful and obvious, right? 

But how do we actually support the girls in our lives to be brave?

This is something I think a LOT about especially during this time of year when I have a leadership series for 10-13 year olds starting in March.

Quick story time:

I’ve been wanting to table at the farmer’s markets for years. Last month, I finally did it with the help of a 12 year old girl who has been to every single Girls Shine Bright event since she found out about our circles. She was so excited and made an adorable Girls Empowerment sign and we brought our for girls by girlsempowerment cards to share inspiring messages with our community.

NO ONE came to our table. 

Many people looked over at our table and quickly averted their eyes. We did get a few smiles but no one stopped by. 

It is hard not to feel disappointed when things don’t go how you wanted. It’s intense to put yourself out there, try something new and not get the response you wanted. 

After the market, here’s what we did:

1. We honored ALL the feelings: disappointment, frustration, sadness etc. It’s okay to feel that way. We’re human. We remembered that the feelings are temporary and don’t last forever.
2. We discussed what did go well: the laughs we shared, the amazing market musician we sang along with and the kettle corn.
3. We picked some girls cards and we both got the “You are resilient” card message. We shifted into creative problem solving mode and came up with a plan to fail forward, be brave and try again. 

Although it was uncomfortable, the lesson from having an experience of failing and seeing that you’re still okay can be really helpful. Often our fear of disappointment and failure keeps us from taking risks and doing the things we really want to do. Once we experience that we can survive disappointment and fail forward, it can feel less scary and feel easier to be brave moving forward because we KNOW that we are always fundamentally okay and worthy no matter what. This reframe and guidance is what we can bring to the girls in our lives to help them be brave.

Before the next market, the 12 year old invited me to a business meeting (her words exactly). She showed up with creativity, inspiration and a willingness to move forward. She created amazing prizes: stickers of our girls cards and folded paper hearts that you could unravel to reveal a secret and inspiring message. We also found a prize wheel to borrow.

We tried the market again unsure of what would happen but feeling steady in ourselves and proud of what we created. 

This time people did stop by and we had some really lovely conversations. People lit up when they received their inspiring messages created by girls!

And here’s the thing: even if no one came, we knew we would be okay. We survived disappointment before and we knew we could be brave and put ourselves out there again no matter the outcome. We know we are inherently resilient and fundamentally okay no matter what.

This is one of the core principles of my girls’ circles and it’s built into how I designed my upcoming leadership series for girls ages 10-13 that starts in March. 

This leadership series is a unique place where girls will receive active support, encouragement and appreciation whether they do something flawlessly or whether they make mistakes or things don’t go how they want them to. It’s not about perfection. It’s about building that strength to be brave and to try something new. There aren’t a lot of places for girls to do this in our culture so that’s one reason why I created this leadership series.

Plus I wanted girls to have a place to:

Build confidence
Experience community
Have fun
And so much more!

The leadership series starts at the beginning of March.